In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize