Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
