Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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