sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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