life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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