I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just found a bag of teeth...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
