Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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