I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
