she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
