I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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