If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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