bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I think I won the penis lottery.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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