My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
you made out with another girl for some wings
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
