He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
