I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
