Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
