like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
