I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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