Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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