I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
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