seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The feeling are messing with the penis
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
