I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
