at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
