They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
