And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
