just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
