A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
