id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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