are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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