i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
