I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
