some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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