remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
