Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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