Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
