what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
sex in a hospital.. check
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
