Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
