This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
