Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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