I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
