i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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