respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
