sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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