It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
