I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
