dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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