Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
