Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
