I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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