Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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