What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
