Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
