eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
