I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
