the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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