I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
