ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
