I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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