the day after is always just damage control
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
